Selective Censoring…

Oldie… but Goodie.

Yes, we have dirty, dirty minds now.

And of course, you can’t help but laugh at how the fake Eastern European accent only makes you imagine The Count as a addict… not to mention his prancing around.

Creeper.

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From The Desk Of… “Is That Really Medically Necessary?” or “Vivaaaaa Viagra”

Brief transcript of a call I just made to Pfizer on the automated system:

Automated Voice: There are three orders, to hear the most recent order, press 1
Me: *Presses 1* (beep)
AV: The last order, number 275…. contained (pause) Viagra, 100mg and was last shipped on Novem…
Me: Laughing uncontrollably…

Now really. Is Viagra a medication that should be given out for free? I mean, I’ve been working here for almost 3 months now, and I’ve called in orders for various maintenance drugs (cholesterol, diabetes, blood pressure etc.) which by all means are QUITE necessary. i’ve even done some Hep C and Cancer medications.

But Viagra, really?

And available at no cost to those who qualify?

Back to work, I’ll discuss this in depth later!

A Little Off the Top: The Scorpion Queen?

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It seems like Dwayne ‘The Rock” Johnson’s fictional character may have met its more legitimate match. Kanchana Ketkaew has set the world record for sitting in seclusion with more than 5,000 scorpions for 33 days!

That’s pretty crazy.

According to this report, it states that she was stung 13 times! That’s about 13 times too many for me!

Out. Of. Control.

So I think this officially proves there is a record for ANYTHING nowadays. I’m sure it’s more for publicity than anything.

On a more bizarre note, while I was searching for her name, she is apparently married to Thailand’s own Centipede King!

Eww. The thought of all these things is freaking me out. Enough is enough.

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You’ve Wrung Me Out Too Too Too Many Times…

Cold War Kids – Hang Me Out To Dry

Careless in our summer clothes splashing around
in the muck and the mire
Careless in our summer clothes splashing around
in the muck and the mire

fell asleep with stains
cake deep in the knees
what a pain

now hang me up to dry
you wrung me out
too too too many times
now hang me up to dry
I’m pearly like the whites
the whites of your eyes

all mixed up in the wash
hot water bleeding our colors
all mixed up in the wash
hot water bleeding our colors

now hang me up to dry
you wrung me out
too too too many times
now hang me up to dry
I’m pearly like the white
the whites of your eyes

One of the heap’s favorite songs. So simple… yet it’s able to catch exactly how I’ve been feeling for a while now. I love the laundry metaphor… Like clothes, people can sometimes become nothing but articles which get used and dirty and battered without any consequence since they can be hung “out to dry.”

Of course, the most biting line of the song is “You’ve wrung me out too too too many times,”where it alludes to the act of cleaning and drying the article… hoping that it remains the same. My take on it is about emotions and feelings… they can be “wrung out” repeatedly. But we all know (thanks to our mothers) that clothes slowly begin to fade.

which reminds me… I should proably get to this giant heap that has been taking up half of my floor space here!

smallheap.jpg image by jmooser

Ooo, You’re my best friend… In a world we must defendddd

Courtesy of Bumpersticker on Facebook:

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Which came first? The Pikachu pun, or the Raichu one?

Haha. I can’t get enough of these. If anyone can come up with a pun using Bulbasaur I will be thoroughly impressed. Or one with any other ridiculous Pokemon.

smallheap.jpg image by jmooser

From The Desk Of… “Awkward Conversation…”

*The transcription of this conversation meets HIPAA Guidelines* 😀

Some Dude: Hello? *Giggling Quietly*
Josh: Yes, Good Afternoon. May I speak with Female Patient?
SD: Oh, um, *giggling* she’s uh, a little indisposed right now hehe…
*Awkward Silence*
SD: *Still Giggling* I can take a message
J: Sure, uh… I’m just calling to let her know that her medicine just came…
SD: Hehe hey hold on there,
*Hands over the phone*
Female Patient: Hello? *Also giggling*
J: Yes, Ms. Female Patient, just to tell you your meds are here and you can come pick them up whenever you want.
FP: OHHH! That’s great! I’ll be sending my *emphatic emphasis* “friend” to get them for me.
J: Sure that’s fine, I’ll give your friend a form for you to sign so that they can pick it up for you in the future.
FP: Alright, *more giggles and some movement in the background* thank you, you’re such a sweetie
J: Heh, thanks, have a good day.

Oh the joys of dealing with the lower end of the spectrum in my county!

-The Heap

Gotta Catch’em All

BWAHAHA.  I LAUGHED SO HARD   omgz LOL
I absolutely HAD to repost this once I saw it. This has to be the most ridiculously funny thing I’ve seen in a long time. Is it embarrassing that I got the pun immediately, or that I can tell you that it is pokemon #26 right off the top of my head, or that i had a holographic card of Raichu?

Yes, I’m a nerd. And I miss the Pokemon days of old!