The Heap’s Guide to the 2010 Girl Scout Cookies

As spring approaches, as the days get longer, and as motivation increases to end any sort of winter (and holiday feast) induced comas, the last h00rah before many Americans will commence beach body bootcamp is the annual sale of Girl Scout Cookies!

This year in our region, the Girl Scouts offer YOU 8 unique ways to satisfy even the most picky and specific sweets cravings. Will you indulge your taste buds with chocolate, peanut butter, or a mixture of the two? Perhaps your palette desires a more fruity taste?

Are you fretting because you don’t know which to choose? Well don’t you worry. Here at The Heap, we’ve already tasted devoured all of the cookies sold by local scouts, and we offer you The Heap’s own ranking and guide to help you decide!

Number 8: Lemon Chalet Creme

I was a bit disappointed with these. Normally, I like tarty sweets, and just lemon flavor in general, but the slight cinnamon and tart lemon led to an odd texture and taste. You have to appreciate the “artwork” on the cookie. Perhaps this slightly justifies the $3.50 price tag per box… Anyway, if you are a fan of tart sweets and can handle the slight nip of cinnamon mixing together, then you might enjoy these!

The Heap awards: The Honesty Badge. No lies here. There’s lemon creme, and there’s a damn chalet. Even if it is a chalet for ants!

Number 7: Thin Mints

As classic as these cookies are, The Heap has just never really been a fan of anything edible that is mint flavored. While they aren’t a favorable match for The Heap, they are usually the overwhelming favorite of purchasers across the country. The popularity of Thin Mints has even landed these delicacies lucrative contracts with various ice creme makers incorporating them into their lines. Heck, even Dairy Queen has stepped up to make Thin Mint Blizzards! If you have a taste for all that is minty, grab a box! They bring the most cookies for your 3.50!

The Heap awards: The Celebrity Status Badge. You know you’ve made it as a Girl Scout Cookie when Dairy Queen offers you as a blizzard flavor and you get your own cameo in a Gym Class Heroes song. (See: Gym Class Heroes – Cookie Jar)

Number 6: Thank You Berry Munch

A new edition for the 2010 Girl Scout Cookie Season, Berry Munch offers a cranberry infusion into the traditional tastes of your average midnight snack. The cookies claim to be made with “premium cranberries.” I wouldn’t expect less. Also, throw in some white chocolate chips and you have a one of a kind treat. Well done, Girl Scouts. What will they come up with next?

The Heap awards: The Turbopun Badge. No, these aren’t your normal Keebler Elf puns. It seems that the girl scouts in the marketing department really got the creative juices flowing on this one. Another tagline, “More berries than your body has room for!” (Please refer to the epic Powerthirst 1 and Powerthirst 2 videos)

Number 5: Dulce de Leche

Named after the Latin dessert of identical namesake, these artificially flavored cookies manage to uphold the pride of the real thing. The milk-caramel blend results in a tasty texture and will adequately satisfy cravings for anything well, caramel or milky! These go well with, surprise surprise, milk, and even coffee. Also, instead of being pre-packaged in a roll or crate, it’s just a bag of cookies!

The Heap awards: The Best Real Food Impersonation Badge. While these cookies will suffice for a short amount of time, let’s not get carried away. Your neighborhood friendly Hispanic mother will slap you silly if you prefer these to any of her own baked goods!

Number 4: Trefoils

Another classic cookie, the recipe for the Trefoil’s success is simple. No fancy, fruity or exotic flavorings needed here- just the sheer melt in your mouth texture of Buttermilk! Superb texture, satisfactory size, and perhaps the most recognizable cookie behind the Thin Mint. These have been giving Lorna Doone’s a run for their money… at least for the first few months of the year.

The Heap awards: The Comic Book Villian Badge. Trefoils are the preferred cookie of Hollywood stars Tommy Lee Jones and Harvey Dent from The Dark Knight. No joke.

Number 3: Samoas

Now we are starting to get to some of the heavy hitters of the Girl Scout Cookie world. The top 3 were hard to separate from each other, but alas, it had to be done. I wait for Samoas yearly. They are simply put, delicious. The chocolate and coconut peels hugging the caramel dipped cookie are again, another unique entity for the Girl Scouts. Possibly imitated, but never equaled. Stock up while you can!

The Heap awards: The Best Representation of and Ethnic Group Badge. Samoans are typically big and round. They also live in coconut rich areas. Very huggable. Just like how the chocolate hugs the cookie. Well played Girl Scouts.

Number 2: Tagalongs

Chocolate and Peanut butter. Need I say more? While I know that this combination disturbs a few of the anonymous posters out there, there is nothing like the mixture of chocolate and peanut butter to flavor anything. The peanut butter is creamy and mixes well with easily melting chocolate dipped cookie! Try refrigerating these to harden the chocolate and peanut butter so it melts in your mouth!

The Heap awards: The Friendship Badge. Even the name of this cookie suggests that you have them with you at all times. And with how delicious they are, you won’t have a problem asking a pack or two to tag along with you!

Number 1: Do-si-Dos

It was a toss up in between Tagalongs and Do-si-dos, but the oatmeal/peanut butter fusion came out on top for The Heap. You can’t beat not just one already good cookie, but two pasted together by peanut butter! Regrettably, these also bring the least, but at least the double cookie action makes up for this. Peanut butter lovers MUST get their hands on these!

The Heap awards: The Best Hoedown Drunken Dance Move Badge: If you’ve ever locked arms with an unsuspecting dance partner and swung them and yourself around as enthusiastically as possible, or have ever sworn that Do-si-do should be a component of The Casper Slide, then this is the cookie for you.

smallheap.jpg image by jmooser

FTDO: “Wait Till I Get My Money Right”

Pandora: The Music Genome Project.

Perhaps one of the greatest cyber-inventions available on the internet, Pandora allows the average Joe to expand their musical horizons. To those who aren’t familiar with this revolutionary music player, the process is quite simple. After registering an email account, you pick an artist- any artist, and more often than not, the first song is by your chosen band. After this, Pandora (as it actually explains this to you) plays artists of similar music style! As you like stuff, you can hit the like button to ensure it stays on your “station” or dislike to ban the song (and even artist) alltogether. The online software then learns your preferences and chooses songs that you might enjoy.

My favorite stations are the “Gym Class Heroes” station, playing an awesome mix ranging from Kanye West to Lupe Fiasco and reaching as far out to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the “Maroon 5” station. Also, if you are into rock/alternative stuff, the “My Chemical Romance” station is pretty sweet as well. Bachata lovers will enjoy the “Aventura” station.

The songs do end up getting a bit repetitive, and if you listen on different days, you end up hearing a lot of the same songs, just in a different order. But free music is free music. Anything is better than hearing the constant ringing of phones and the resounding clacking of keyboard strokes.

Register at Pandora so you can experience this! Feel free to share your favorite stations so that I can give them a listen. Be on the lookout for the Pandora Widget on the sidebar soon!

smallheap.jpg image by jmooser

Concert News… Part 1

In the upcoming months the Tampa Bay area will be the place to be to see some of the biggest acts in the business from both alternative rock and rap/ hip-hop. Every year (for as long as I can remember) both Wild 98.7 and 97X put on huuuuge shows in November and December. Wild’s concert, the Last Damn Show series, is usually at Tropicana Field, and attracts some of the biggest names in rap and hip hop, while 97X takes place at the fairgrounds at the Ford Amphitheater also attracting very popular band to play.

wild

The acts for LSD 10 is as star-studded as usual. November 8 will prove to be an amazing time. Perhaps I will find my way over there. Let’s get a little rundown of the acts here.

David Banner

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He’s got a very straightforward name, which actually does a lot to set him apart from his contemporaries. Reared in Mississippi (which he loves spelling in one of his songs), he actually has a degree from Southern University. He’s had a few albums out in the past years, and has been gaining popularity in subsequent years.

Current Song: Shawty Say

Relative Appeal: 7.2/10

Relative Name Intimidation Factor: 4.6/10

The Dream

the dream

The Dream is as talented of an individual as they come. He is obviously very talented musically, but also, he is an acclaimed painter and sculptor. FYI, his real name is Terius Nash and like many of the mainstream rap artists we hear today, he came from humble beginnings. After high school he began writing songs for other artists, which he continues today. He just started releasing stuff on his own, having 2 albums, but like I said, he’s been on the scene writing songs such as Rihanna’s “Umbrella.”

Current Songs: I Luv Your Girl, featured in Cookie Jar, Please Excuse My Hands

Relative Appeal 7.0/10

Relative Innate Talent: 8.7/10

Thanking God for a Stage Name Factor: 9.1/10

E-40

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E-40 currently enjoys high popularity, though I must admit that I personally don’t like his music. There’s just something about his voice that bothers me. But regardless, the beats and melodies of his music is often catchy and rather good. He’s 40 years old nowadays, ironically, and has been on the scene since the early 90’s.

Popular songs: Tell Me When To Go, You and Dat

Relative Appeal: 6.2/10

Relative Rap “Experience”: 8.2/10

The Game

the game

The Game’s story is one of turning a life around. Born in LA, he was a gang member in his youth after being expelled from Washington State. He’s best known for his work with 50 cent and G-Unit, though subsequently there have been feuds between both parties… in fact, The Game has had a feud with pretty much every big name in the rap scene. He released his third album this year which hit #1 on the rap charts in the US.

Current Song: My Life

Relative Appeal: 7.0/10

Relative Gangsterness 9.0/10

Gym Class Heroes

gch

One of my favorite groups, Gym Class Heroes has managed to transcend the boundaries of musical genre for years. They have had a superb, unique sound influenced by the fusion of R&B with rock elements. The recently released an R&B heavy album called “The Quilt” which has recieved mostly positive reviews, but the past records by Travis and Co. have had a balance of rock and R&B influenced tracks.

Current Song: Cookie Jar

Relative Appeal:7.8/10

Name Creativity Factor 8.2/10

Nina Sky

ninasky

These “Newyoricans” are identical twin sisters and have had an interest in music since elementary school, writing their first song by the age of 10. They’ve been a prominent force in the R&B world since about 2005 and are currently releasing their second album this year.

Popular Songs: Oye Mi Canto, Move Your Body

Relative Appeal: 6.8/10

Relative Hotness 8.3/10

Plies

plies

Plies has had a big past 2 years with the release of 2 albums and his singles spending weeks at the top of the charts. We all remember “Shawty” from a year ago as it dominated the airwaves. Plies released “Bust It Baby Part 2” earlier this year which was also very popular. Currently, “Please excuse My Hands” is a favorite of many Plies enthusiasts, as well as guys who can related so such a feeling… :-D.

Relative Appeal: 7.5/10

Bling Factor: 8.7/10

T-Pain

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T-pain might arguably be the most popular and biggest name at LDS 10. He has had hits for the past few years, not to mention the cornucopia of awards he has recied for his efforts. My personal favorite is “I’m Sprung” because you just can’t beat the bass beat in that song. Don’t forget Bartender and By you a drank.

Current Song: Chopped and Skrewed feat LUDA!

Relative Appeal: 9.0/10

Hair Factor 8.6/10

Tay Dizm

tay dizm

I really don’t know too much about Tay Dizm, but I think his song (the only one I really know) Beam Me Up, is pretty funny. I’m sure he has other good songs and that he can perform… though I’d guess he’ll play at the beginning of the concert…

Relative Appeal: 6.2/10

Sound Effects Ability: 8.5/10

Tom G

Tom G

Up and coming artist, so you better be on the look out! A Tampa native who hopes to be tearing up the rap scene in the upcoming years.

Young Jeezy

yong jeezy

Another HUGE name. Jeezy’s back with a new album titled “The Recession.” He has enjoyed continous popularity… mostly because he just releases catchy, solid songs. He will definitely put on an unforgettable performance.

Current Song: Put On

Relative Appeal: 8.2/10

Thugness 8.6/10

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